Bad boys and badge taps

Needle thrives when you're fighting over the same toys.

The shittiest game in football

Where there is injustice, there is always a choice.

You tread on my dreams

I don't know how long it will take, and there's a part of me that still thinks I won't finish.

Good at being bad

Think about who you're hurting as you cruise to the whistle on a 1-0 scoreline.

England to (probably) win the World Cup

When I sat down and took in some of the Lionesses' performance against Spain, I thought 'this'll do'.

Drinking tears and holding hands

The intensity of this Premier League season is amazing - and frightening.

That is literally not happening

When I shut my eyes and think of the England captain, I see her pouting in a nice coat.

To Earps is human

No one stood to gain by protecting Mary from her fatal flaw.

The one thing worse than Man Utd

Thinking about it, I never really lost sleep over that third-in-a-row Premier League title.