Good at being bad
Think about who you're hurting as you cruise to the whistle on a 1-0 scoreline.
When I’m sipping a margarita on Copacabana beach next July, relaxing between England’s second and third group game, with qualification to the knockout stages all but wrapped up – will I be thinking of the Lionesses’ unconvincing win against Iceland?
Maybe not.
After Sarina Wiegman’s side shut out an onslaught from their hosts to ensure Alessia Russo’s first-half strike decided the World Cup qualifier, the word was that a win is a win and that none of us should fret too much about how it came about. Accept the dub and proceed.
But - why not linger a little longer? Celebrate the reactions of Niamh Charles and Hannah Hampton, who each single-handedly protected England’s clean sheet at times when the invitation of pressure was seized enthusiastically by their 16th-ranked opponents?
Rehearsing the scary moments at times when it isn’t all over if it goes wrong, when there’s always the hope of beating Spain away or progressing through a play-off, is a clever thing – for players and fans alike.
The Lionesses didn’t concede a single goal as they qualified for the 2023 Women’s World Cup, scoring an average of 16 a game as they ravaged such minnows as Latvia, Luxembourg, and North Macedonia.
Iceland, to their credit, have a population that is smaller than Leeds, yet managed to swerve successive 10-0 pastings at the hands of Wiegman’s marauders. They were smart and brave - but they still didn't get a result, which is what a team would need to do to stop England from winning the World Cup next year.
I think it's important to practise squeaky bum time. But it is disappointing that England did not make the game more comfortable, as there was a good chance that young Erica Meg Parkinson would have had a chance to come off the bench if they had.
Move over, Michelle. The youngest player ever to be called up by Wiegman, Parkinson is the next big player to come out of the Lionesses' pathway.
In a recent interview, Parkinson looked beyond Brazil to 2035, when England are very likely to be hosting the World Cup alongside Scotland, Wales and Ireland. By then, Parkinson will be 27 and the image of herself at the peak of her athletic powers at such a huge occasion has given the young'n 'extra fuel' to progress.
Not only did England's insistence on complicating things rob us, the fans, of a glimpse of the future, but it also meant that Parkinson missed the chance to make her senior debut for her country on her 18th birthday.
So, in summary, DON'T reflect on what you were doing on your 18th birthday, OR consider your age at the 2035 Women's World Cup but DO think about who you're hurting when you decide you can cruise to the whistle on a 1-0 scoreline.