That is literally not happening
When I shut my eyes and think of the England captain, I see her pouting in a nice coat.
Leah Williamson was judged by some internet folk recently for sharing an inspirational quote on her Instagram story.
“A woman without a political opinion is comfortable only because other women before her fought, bled and spoke - while she quietly enjoys the shelter and pretends the storm isn’t hers,” it read.
It left followers wondering: in this scenario, Leah, which one are you, exactly?
There's a lot to admire about Leah Williamson. She is a trailblazer with an instinct for leadership and a knack for a crossfield pass to flutter fannies, everywhere.
And remember that impassioned speech she made after winning EURO 2022, rabid with endorphins, screaming into the camera? It was coruscating stuff.
Today, though, when I shut my eyes and think of the England captain, I see her pouting in a nice coat - not shouting instructions to her back line or fine-tuning a legacy for generations to come.
Absence through injury has had something to do with that, and it would be a feminist own goal to insist that women’s value be recognised then object when Gucci goes ahead and does just that.
But it doesn’t feel great to watch her relish the freedoms earned by her ceiling-smashing predecessors, do little to extend them to others, then talk down to her 'sheltered' social media followers - many of whom are subject to oppression that she doesn’t understand and most of whom have much less power to create change than she does.
We should recognise Williamson's fight as part of the EURO 2022-winning team which has had an enormous impact on access to football for girls and women in this country - but is there nothing left for her to fight, bleed or speak for?
This week, the Professional Footballers' Association were keen to remind us before a hugely politically contentious men's World Cup - another one - that it is not the responsibility of sportspeople to comment on complex social issues, necessarily.
But it's nice that Leah seems to have put her hand up, anyway.
I don’t know whether she saw the backlash to her Instagram story, much of which centred on how loving the monarchy is not a political opinion. But, in a presumably unrelated incident the following week, she spoke to the media about the way that playing more and more fixtures is putting a strain on players’ bodies and well-being. "I would never take [striking] off the table,” she said.
It’s a start. Now Leah, if for instance, a demographic group were told by the FA that they weren’t permitted to participate in women’s football without being offered a safe, viable alternative, what would you do then?
Meanwhile, over on the @OfficialElleSmith TikTok channel, her girlfriend is starting other kinds of fires.
Smith, AKA Miss USA 2021, invited followers to comment with suggestions for content they would like her to make.
But when one user repeatedly requested ‘a London vlog’ - implicitly asking for footage of Leah and their relationship - Official Elle did not take kindly to it at all.
“Let’s get this out of the way, that is literally not happening. So stop asking about it,” she wrote. She then threatened, “I will be using the block button freely if people do not get the memo.”
Uh, power-tripping, much?
If being a woman in 2026 is a bit shit, then being a woman in the public eye in the pre-regulation internet era must be tough - but hey, her skin is genuinely mesmerising.
See - it’s easy to be flippant about the plight of women, if you try!
Elsewhere in feminism this week, Chloe Kelly is all across the media promoting the fact that she has been transformed into a Barbie doll in celebration of International Women's Day.
"You don't really believe these things could happen," she said.
"You always look for the trophies and the wins on the pitch but, off the pitch, this is a massive win."
"As a young girl, you dreamed of having these moments but they never seemed to be the case that they could come true."